I am a complicated person. I have obsessive compulsive disorder. I have really bad anxiety. I get strong and unbearable panic attacks pretty regularly. I am a perfectionist. I set way too many goals and expect myself to accomplish them immediately. I expect a lot of myself and set my bar high. I have been suffering from postpartum depression since a couple months after my daughter was born. On top of all that, I am pregnant. I have a lot of responsibilities. I am a wife and mother. I work as a waitress outside of the home. I am a homemaker inside the home. I have three church callings. I have a lot of family and friends that I need and want to keep in touch with.
I AM OVERWHELMED AND STRESSED!
So...
I have decided to make some goals. But rather than setting deadlines and expecting myself to become perfect over night, I will start small and work on one task until I have made it a habit. I want to post about my goals so that I will hold myself accountable to them.
Here is a list of the goals I will be setting in time:
1. Daily/Weekly/Yearly... chores list
2. Meal plans and monthy food budget
3. Organize my house
4. Have weekly FHE; Daily family scriptures and prayers
5. Finish projects I have already started
6. Know every single family in my ward and neighborhood
7. Daily exercise
9. (my list is never ending...there will be more)
I'm starting off with the chores list. I have been having a difficult pregnancy. Add a crazy toddler, and my house is always a mess! I don't want to become a hoarder or so lazy that things just pile up and up and up until I am trapped. I'm already feeling that way a bit. I'm always behind on my daily responsibilities. So I've listed out everything that needs to be done on a regular basis. I've left time for deep spring and fall cleanings. I'm really excited about this. I've been following the schedule for three days now. I haven't been perfect. My house needs a lot of help so it's a lot of work up front, but once I get going it'll be mostly maintenance. =] Things are flexible so I can adjust as time goes on, but here it is:
*Daily:
- sweep kitchen
- spot mop floor
- dishes, start dishwasher before bed
- wipe down high chair
- basic kitchen wipedown
- laundry in hampers
- basic house clean up
- make beds
- swish toilets
*Weekly:
Mon - bathrooms, kitchen sink, laundry (clothes, towels)
Tues - ironing, grocery shopping, food prep
Wed - trash out (to curb), vacuum (floors, furniture), dust, mop
Thurs - laundry (bedding, blankets), detail high chair
Fri - misc chores (from list I'll post below***)
Sat - trash, vacuum, outside stuff (sweep, mow, weed...)
Sun - family meeting, meal plan, go over coupons/budget
***Rotations: (these I'll rotate every five weeks throughout the year, with two weeks open for spring and fall deep cleaning. I will get those deep cleaning lists online when the time comes.)
1. baseboards, check/change AC and heater filters
2. windows and ledges
3. wash fridge, trash cans
4. wash shower curtains, furniture
5. clean oven/stove
* spring and fall cleanings
It seems like a lot of cleaning, but since day one (two days ago), I've already had less cleaning because I've been maintaining. It's great! I'm looking forward to it becoming an ingrained habit.
I've also listed out a schedule for the entire year. There are 52 weeks in a year and I've listed out the rotations for each week. Starting with the first week of the year:
1-1
2-2
3-3
4-4
5-5
6-1
7-2
8-3
9-4
10-5
11-1
12-2
13-3
14-4
15-5
16-Spring Cleaning
17-1
18-2
19-3
20-4
21-5
22-1
23-2
24-3
25-4
26-5
27-1
28-2
29-3
30-4
31-5
32-1
33-2
34-3
35-4
36-5
37-1
38-2
39-3
40-4
41-5
42-Fall Cleaning
43-1
44-2
45-3
46-4
47-5
48-1
49-2
50-3
51-4
52-5
So there you have it. Because I just wrote up this list, I am starting on week 41. This means that on Friday, I am to do #3 on the rotation list which is deep cleaning the fridge and washing out the trash cans.
I have a hard copy posted on my fridge as a quick reference. Wish me luck as I try to gain control over my home!
=]
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
So much LOVE!
Have you ever felt so consumed by love that you feared your heart may actually explode? Well, that's how I feel about my family! I'll admit, there are times when my love for them doesnt actually feel that strong. But, whenever I think about Hubby or my daughter, or sometimes it just hits me sometime during the day, I am so overwhelmed by my love for them that my heart may burst. I feel like screaming with delight and then flying away. I could die happy in any of those moments.
I consider myself an affectionate person. If you're familiar with the love languages, I am touch/affection. I need to touch and be touched. And I don't mean just in a sensual sort of way. My favorite thing in the whole entire world is to have my back (or anything, really) rubbed. Give me the chills, massage me, just kinda rub mindlessly...oh...it's the best! I have been blessed with the most amazing husband in the world for infinite reasons, but one being that Jake has rubbed me every. single. day. we've been together. What more could a girl ask for?!
But aside from just being touched, I need to touch! I need to give hugs. I need to kiss! My favorite part to kiss on someone is the space on their cheek just below the cheek bone but above the jaw bone, and dead center between the lips and the ear. Ahhh, perfect! I think I may be right on the border of smothering my husband and daughter with those kisses! Thankfully, they still let me. Honestly, it's like a compulsion because I have to get it just right or I keep trying (yes, I have been diagnosed with OCD).
I grew up in El Centro, CA, which is roughly 15 minutes from the border to Mexico. Needless to say, I grew up with a LOT of Mexicans. I was the minority. Anyway, if any of you have had the pleasure to know any Mexicans, you'll know that they are an amazing group of people! They are so incredibly kind and generous and loving! They truly care about your well-being. They always have delicious food cooking. And they always greet you with a hug and kiss. Growing up with them, I quickly got used to greeting my friends with hello and good-bye hugs, and often kisses on the cheek. It was just a way of life. Then I went to college. I went 18 driving hours away to Brigham Young University - Idaho. I had a blast, but I learned a lot about people. One thing I learned: Some people don't like to be touched. I learned this in my first semester when some of my female friends blindsided me with an intervention. They said my giving them hugs made them really uncomfortable. They wanted me to stop. Also, they said I was acting like a Lesbian. Whoa. I did NOT see that coming. Since that event (and sadly, there have been several other events), I've been very cautious about being too affectionate. I don't want to offend anyone.
But, in being so concerned about how I came across to others, I was slowly being depleted of my much needed affection from others. I'm glad I have a family who allows me to attack them with my love! But even still, I could use more.
I have some great friends who I can still hug and love. And my side of the family is incredibly affectionate. Especially my dad's side. If you're not careful, you'll get a big wet one right on the lips from my grandpa or uncles or someone! My parents, siblings, and I are always hugging and we always say "I love you" to each other. It's just always been that way, and I love it!
But some families aren't like that. Take Hubby's family. They rarely ever hug or verbally say "I love you." At first, I thought they were cold and uncaring and thought they didn't like me. But as time has passed I've learned they do care very much but just show it differently. I've learned to accept this, but because I'm a touchy feely kind of gal, I am still craving the affection.
I have become shy in that I will not ask for or initiate affection from anyone (with the exception of my hubby and daughter, my immediate family, and a few friends from growing up.) I would love a hug from someone else! Has anyone else ever felt this way?
=]
I consider myself an affectionate person. If you're familiar with the love languages, I am touch/affection. I need to touch and be touched. And I don't mean just in a sensual sort of way. My favorite thing in the whole entire world is to have my back (or anything, really) rubbed. Give me the chills, massage me, just kinda rub mindlessly...oh...it's the best! I have been blessed with the most amazing husband in the world for infinite reasons, but one being that Jake has rubbed me every. single. day. we've been together. What more could a girl ask for?!
But aside from just being touched, I need to touch! I need to give hugs. I need to kiss! My favorite part to kiss on someone is the space on their cheek just below the cheek bone but above the jaw bone, and dead center between the lips and the ear. Ahhh, perfect! I think I may be right on the border of smothering my husband and daughter with those kisses! Thankfully, they still let me. Honestly, it's like a compulsion because I have to get it just right or I keep trying (yes, I have been diagnosed with OCD).
I grew up in El Centro, CA, which is roughly 15 minutes from the border to Mexico. Needless to say, I grew up with a LOT of Mexicans. I was the minority. Anyway, if any of you have had the pleasure to know any Mexicans, you'll know that they are an amazing group of people! They are so incredibly kind and generous and loving! They truly care about your well-being. They always have delicious food cooking. And they always greet you with a hug and kiss. Growing up with them, I quickly got used to greeting my friends with hello and good-bye hugs, and often kisses on the cheek. It was just a way of life. Then I went to college. I went 18 driving hours away to Brigham Young University - Idaho. I had a blast, but I learned a lot about people. One thing I learned: Some people don't like to be touched. I learned this in my first semester when some of my female friends blindsided me with an intervention. They said my giving them hugs made them really uncomfortable. They wanted me to stop. Also, they said I was acting like a Lesbian. Whoa. I did NOT see that coming. Since that event (and sadly, there have been several other events), I've been very cautious about being too affectionate. I don't want to offend anyone.
But, in being so concerned about how I came across to others, I was slowly being depleted of my much needed affection from others. I'm glad I have a family who allows me to attack them with my love! But even still, I could use more.
I have some great friends who I can still hug and love. And my side of the family is incredibly affectionate. Especially my dad's side. If you're not careful, you'll get a big wet one right on the lips from my grandpa or uncles or someone! My parents, siblings, and I are always hugging and we always say "I love you" to each other. It's just always been that way, and I love it!
But some families aren't like that. Take Hubby's family. They rarely ever hug or verbally say "I love you." At first, I thought they were cold and uncaring and thought they didn't like me. But as time has passed I've learned they do care very much but just show it differently. I've learned to accept this, but because I'm a touchy feely kind of gal, I am still craving the affection.
I have become shy in that I will not ask for or initiate affection from anyone (with the exception of my hubby and daughter, my immediate family, and a few friends from growing up.) I would love a hug from someone else! Has anyone else ever felt this way?
=]
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Pilot
Hi. I'm Kristina. I'm a busy wife, and momma to one sweet girl with a little boy on the way. Life has gotten quite crazy over the years which has caused me to neglect myself a bit. I have lost my sense of identity. I used to be a fun, outgoing, happy, optimistic girl with loads of self confidence! But now I'm so busy trying to entertain a toddler, earn an income, get dinner on the table, maintain a clean house and yard, love my husband, keep in touch with family and friends, blog, read, save money, yadda yadda yadda...Basically I've been so busy trying to do it all, that I never take time for myself. This needs to end because I'm going crazy! So with this blog, I'm hoping to find myself again. I know it sounds so cheesy, but I need a place to collect my thoughts and just vent at times. I need to start counting my blessings. I need to reflect on the past and learn from it, rather than just hanging on to hard feelings. I need to find joy in the wonderful life that I'm currently living. I need to open up to people, be vulnerable but honest, and maybe that will help me let go of the negative so I can see all the good around me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)