So much LOVE!

Have you ever felt so consumed by love that you feared your heart may actually explode?  Well, that's how I feel about my family!  I'll admit, there are times when my love for them doesnt actually feel that strong.  But, whenever I think about Hubby or my daughter, or sometimes it just hits me sometime during the day, I am so overwhelmed by my love for them that my heart may burst.  I feel like screaming with delight and then flying away.  I could die happy in any of those moments.

 I consider myself an affectionate person.  If you're familiar with the love languages, I am touch/affection.  I need to touch and be touched.  And I don't mean just in a sensual sort of way.  My favorite thing in the whole entire world is to have my back (or anything, really) rubbed.  Give me the chills, massage me, just kinda rub mindlessly...oh...it's the best!  I have been blessed with the most amazing husband in the world for infinite reasons, but one being that Jake has rubbed me every. single. day. we've been together.  What more could a girl ask for?! 

But aside from just being touched, I need to touch!  I need to give hugs.  I need to kiss!  My favorite part to kiss on someone is the space on their cheek just below the cheek bone but above the jaw bone, and dead center between the lips and the ear.  Ahhh, perfect!  I think I may be right on the border of smothering my husband and daughter with those kisses!  Thankfully, they still let me.  Honestly, it's like a compulsion  because I have to get it just right or I keep trying (yes, I have been diagnosed with OCD). 

I grew up in El Centro, CA, which is roughly 15 minutes from the border to Mexico.  Needless to say, I grew up with a LOT of Mexicans.  I was the minority.  Anyway, if any of you have had the pleasure to know any Mexicans, you'll know that they are an amazing group of people!  They are so incredibly kind and generous and loving!  They truly care about your well-being.  They always have delicious food cooking.  And they always greet you with a hug and kiss.  Growing up with them, I quickly got used to greeting my friends with hello and good-bye hugs, and often kisses on the cheek.  It was just a way of life.  Then I went to college.  I went 18 driving hours away to Brigham Young University - Idaho.  I had a blast, but I learned a lot about people.  One thing I learned:  Some people don't like to be touched.  I learned this in my first semester when some of my female friends blindsided me with an intervention.  They said my giving them hugs made them really uncomfortable.  They wanted me to stop.  Also, they said I was acting like a Lesbian.  Whoa.  I did NOT see that coming.  Since that event (and sadly, there have been several other events), I've been very cautious about being too affectionate.  I don't want to offend anyone. 

But, in being so concerned about how I came across to others, I was slowly being depleted of my much needed affection from others.  I'm glad I have a family who allows me to attack them with my love!  But even still, I could use more. 

I have some great friends who I can still hug and love.  And my side of the family is incredibly affectionate.  Especially my dad's side.  If you're not careful, you'll get a big wet one right on the lips from my grandpa or uncles or someone!  My parents, siblings, and I are always hugging and we always say "I love you" to each other.  It's just always been that way, and I love it!

But some families aren't like that.  Take Hubby's family.  They rarely ever hug or verbally say "I love you."  At first, I thought they were cold and uncaring and thought they didn't like me.  But as time has passed I've learned they do care very much but just show it differently.  I've learned to accept this, but because I'm a touchy feely kind of gal, I am still craving the affection. 

I have become shy in that I will not ask for or initiate affection from anyone (with the exception of my hubby and daughter, my immediate family, and a few friends from growing up.)   I would love a hug from someone else!  Has anyone else ever felt this way?

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